Pickling
Okay, admittedly I don't know much about the pickling process. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I know absolutely nothing about how one goes about making a pickle. I know there are some cucumbers involved and maybe some dill and the casting of strange incantations, but that's about it. I believe you would be hard pressed to find an individual who knows less about pickling than I do.
So, knowing nothing about pickling, it's easy to imagine how shocked I was last night to find this in our jar of pickles:
I'm very curious as to what the bees add to the pickles. Maybe the poison from their stinger adds to the dill flavor. Or perhaps that's why pickles are so crunchy! The proteins that make the bees' exoskeletons hard pass into the pickles via some form of osmosis and give the pickles that crunch that we all love!
However, questions of what the bees add to the pickles aside, why haven't we heard about this before? Shouldn't the ASPCA, PETA, and all of those other fun acronyms bee all over this? Naturally, I did a little digging on this subject. Unfortunately, it would seem that bees don't really fall into any of the categories of animals that the ASPCA concern themselves with. Furthermore, they don't seem too concerned about the animals in Poland, just those back in the States.
So, being proactive (and bored) I've decided to form my own organization. We call ourselves PAUBMTP: People Against the Use of Bees in the Making of Tasty Pickles. Currently we face three very serious setbacks to getting our organization off the ground:
- We currently have only three members: myself, Melissa1, and Gidget2.
- We currently have no funding. Please show your support for the cause and make checks payable to me.
- Our acronym can't be pronounced by speakers of the English language. I'm confident the Poles will have no problem with it though.
-Dave
1 Admittedly, Melissa won't know that she's a member of the group until she reads this post, but I'm confident that she'll step up to the plate.
2 Unlike those other so called animal rights groups we don't discriminate against potential members just because they're not human.
Posted @ 10:50 AM
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3 Comments:
I'm an EXPERT on pickles, having made pickles once.
Bees are the MOST important ingredient in pickles. Far more important then the cucumbers or the salt and vinegar brine.
Of course to really taste good the pickles MUST be Kosher (it adds a certain something). We won't go into how I managed that when I made my pickles, being female and not jewish.
Anyhow, any pickle conaisseur knows to use bumble bees, so I think we'll wisely choose to throw out the pickles.
You all do realize that you're crazy, right? That said, I guess just making this comment means that I'm a member of PAUBMTB (which I've chosen to pronouce "Pbththththth!!!"). What we'll need is a government grant ... but which government??
Argentina. They're the world's leading exporter of honey so they must bee interested in protecting the bees.
We just can't let them know we're from the US. I'm sure they're probably still a bit sore about the 66% honey tariff our country slapped on them back in 2002.
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