Let's Go Surfing Now
There are times in life when a man has to take a stand. I experienced one of these moments a few weeks ago when Melissa and I were grocery shopping. She didn't want to buy it. She said we had refills for our current unit at home. She was right and I knew it, but I couldn't pass this up. So I put my foot down and I bellowed, "Woman! I have put my foot down! We're buying it!"
An hour later as I regained consciousness to find myself slumped against the grocery store's mop rack, it occurred to me that maybe I hadn't adopted the best approach in dealing with this situation1. In the end, however, I prevailed. Probably only because Melissa realized that it was easier to give in and spend the three bucks than to risk my injuring myself in another "fall" and racking up huge hospital bills as a result, but I prevailed none the less.
And so, without further fallaciousness or ado I give you, my purchase:
I would like to thank Anna for introducing me to this little guy on her blog a month or so ago in a post entitled "When will I be classy?!?" Were it not for her determined research into the latest technological breakthroughs such as this, I would have passed this little guy by without a second look. Oh, and Anna? In answer to your question, you'll only be classy when you come to Poland. We've got class where you stick your umm... nevermind.And now I must go prepare to do battle with Melissa when she learns that I posted a picture of our toilet on the world wide web2.
-Dave
*And in case anyone is wondering: Yes I have, as promised on Anna's site, stood above the toilet while flushing and cackled, "Mwhahaha! Surf's up Mr. Bond!"
Twice.
1I don't remember how I came to be in that state. All I remember is a sudden flash, a burst of pain from my chin, and a flying sensation as though I were soaring backwards through the air. The only thing that followed the flying sensation was a falling sensation.
2Don't worry honey, I cleaned it thoroughly first. Honest.
Posted @ 4:01 PM
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8 Comments:
I don't know what bothers me more: the purchase, the blog post, or the fact that he flushed the toilet over 30 times to use up the old toilet bowl refresher so it could be replaced with the bowl surfer.
Our apartment is expected to be up to 'representational event' standards. Perhaps the bowl surfer captures that all-American je-ne-sais-quois: tackiness AND the official sport of California.
Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
It's a bad sign that my first thought is: "Oh my god, he's even cuter in person!!"
Now I'm really visiting you guys this summer ... although what with Dave's 007 activities, I doubt there will be any surfer-guy left...
Oh don't worry, we will be buying refills.
Wow. I'm sorry, Melissa.
Oh evil dictator of Mr. Crapper's invention, when will you ever learn?
Here in the grand captial of politics-as-usual eternal conflict, the celestial import of your monument is obvious!
Your pseudo-surfer is nothing more than a petty bouguois display of the Evilman Bluestate attempting to force its dastardly will on the Redstate Ediface of Good! (Or maybe it's the monstrously evil Redstate Mountain trying to crush the poor humble Bluestate Working Man.)
In any event, since Harrison Ford is negotiating a "Lost Ark-Temple of Doom-Holy Grail" sequel, a more proper exclamation would be, "Grab the Geritol, Grampa Indy, Charybdis is here!
My father is on crack.
And for those who missed it (whether intentionally or not) the first line of Dad's comment is almost a Haiku. There are a few too many syllables, but it's very good none the less.
My father spinning
Rhymes about my toilet bowl
Me go crazy now.
Haha! Take that! It's an old fashioned Haiku off!
Oh evil ruler
Of Mr. Crapper's brain-child
Will you ever learn?
Soooo.... have you two just been sitting around flushing the toilet since March or what??
What's going on?? Your loyal public demands to be informed!
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