Thanksgiving +10 Days

Okay, I'm aware that Turkey day was over a week ago, but I've been otherwise occupied since then and haven't had a chance to post my photos.

Upon reviewing my photos to make this post I discovered something very disturbing: I have no pictures of the actual Thanksgiving meal, the riveting discussions that occurred afterward, or even of people at all! All I have are pictures of food. I guess that shows you where my priorities lie. I wonder if my seeming obsession with food could have anything to do with my recent weight gain... Anyway, without further ado I give you:

Dave's Pictorial Guide to Turkey Frying

After injecting your turkey with whatever seasonings you happen to have lying around, heat your peanut oil in a really big pot (RBP). Next, using your specially designed "Turkey lowering device" (TLD), carefully lower the turkey into the RBP.

Once the turkey is bubbling away in your RBP, cover and wait.

After approximately 45 minutes (depending on turkey weight), just reach into your RBP and grab the turkey. Now rush to the emergency room to have your burns treated. Return, whap yourself upside the head for being a moron, and remove the turkey from the pot using your turkey raising device (TRD)¹. Viola! You're done.

Because Melissa was off somewhere in Poland (Or something. I don't keep track of these things.), this year it fell to me to make the pies. I went fairly traditional: Pumpkin from a can, Cherry from a can, and Apple not from a can. I was so proud of my apple pie that I just couldn't resist signing it with my initials.

-Dave P., The "P" is for Pie<sup>2

1</sup>If you don't have a TRD you may reuse your TLD. Just remember to apply upward force instead of downward.
²Or at least it would be if Lissa would let me change my middle name.