Happy Birthday to Dave!

Yes, I'm aware that my birthday was in fact one month and a day ago. However, my parents, to quote my father, decided to "hold all presents hostage until you return to the US." I promptly called his bluff and forced him to admit that "we're holding all presents hostage" really translated to "we haven't gotten you anything yet and we'll let you pick out your own present when you come back into town this summer¹."

And so, without further ado I present my birthday present²:

Hooray for digital cameras with more features than a McDonald's extra value meal has calories!

I honestly don't know how I'm going to make use of my camera's ability to record approximately 6 hours of footage, but I'll find a way. Maybe I could setup a pirating operation where I go to the movie theater on opening night and sell the digital footage to people overseas who make bootleg DVDs. Then again, with movie prices being what they are here in the States, I probably would have a hard time breaking even by the time you factor in a movie ticket, popcorn, soda, bribes to security guards to keep them from throwing me out for illegally recording the movie, and another movie ticket since I'd be sure to knock my tripod over during the first showing.

Perhaps I should use my new camera for good, but it's so much easier to come up with evil plots to employ it in. You wouldn't believe the amount of plotting that went into using my camera to take a picture of itself. It wasn't all evil plotting, but it was definitely all ingenious. I refuse to revel all of my secrets, but it involved quite a few mirrors, extreme patience, digital manipulation so that the image wasn't backwards, and an insect sacrifice. That last one was really just a coincidence because there was an annoying fly bothering me while I was trying to create genius, but I choose to believe his death contributed greatly to my success.

-Dave (Slayer of Flies)

¹And for anyone wondering just how much my parents love me, you can click here.

²Give me a break, I needed to blog about something and believe me, you don't want me to get started on school stuff. That would kill off the limited readership we have real quick.