Red Carpet, Meet Melissa

And no, I don't mean Melissa Rivers. However, like Melissa Rivers I for some reason feel entitled to critique the red carpet fashion from the Oscars and pick the Hall of Fame and Shame. Before I start, though, I feel compelled to mention that this was the first time in over ten years that I made the wrong call on the Costumes Oscar. Although I much preferred Elizabeth, I thought for sure Sweeney Todd's costumes were going to take the prize. They were edgier and whimsical, which Oscar loves. If you want to see the costumes, check out some examples from Elizabeth and Sweeney Todd.

So here we go. My favorites are:This year's best dressed: Jennifer Garner. She looks great in black, and all the detailing at the bottom of the dress is amazing. The diamonds really set off the dress. Kudos to her for also handing a very odd red carpet exchange with Gary Bussey. Where was Ben Affleck while his wife was being kissed on the neck by a weirdo??I LOVE this dress on Katherine Heigl. I think she made a pick that was incredibly flattering, and it just floated when she moved. I love the shoulder too.Another red dress, but Anne Hathaway went for the Grecian draped look that was really nice against her alabaster skin. Jessica Alba looks great! Extra points for women who are pregnant and still manage to find dresses that dazzle.

Next up comes my 'on the fence' category. They all still look very nice, but I feel like they could have made better choices.Cameron Diaz's dress is really pretty, but I don't think it went well with her complexion. She seemed to pale. I also think that if you're going to have that much bare chest, you should have jewelry too. Come on Cameron...the world's finest jewelers would have begged you to borrow one of their necklaces for the evening. And speaking of jewelry, I know she was wearing about a thousand carats, but that necklace was just not flattering on Nicole Kidman. When she was presenting it had swung off to one side and looked like it was cupping one of her breasts. The dress itself was very understated. Maybe she was trying to hid her baby bump, but I can't imagine she's really showing yet. She should have been a bit more bold, or even worn a dress to show off the bump.Okay, I'll go easy on her because Jennifer Hudson and I share the same problem, but her stylist should have known better. That dress style is designed for a B cup or smaller, and was a disaster on a larger chested woman. The rest of the dress, and the color were beautiful.I know Cate Blanchette is pregnant which creates a challenge on the red carpet, but I really didn't like this dress. The neckline was all wrong, and the printing on the gown wasn't very flattering either. If I had her body, I would have gone for the flowing chiffon goddess look. It would show off her nicely toned arms, and emphasize her pretty pregnant belly. It would also have been a bit more forgiving in the bust area.

And now for the Hall of Shame: I know some people won't agree with me on this one, but I just hated this dress. I will say that it is flattering to her body style...but she could have looked great in anything. WHY did she wear a dress with 3-d layers of fabric flowers in decreasing size right over her breasts (it's like she had flower shaped nipples represented on her dress), and FISH SCALES?? Yikes. During her award acceptance for best actress I kept gazing down at the odd flowers shooting forward from her chest...it was like watching a train wreck...I couldn't look away.Daniel Day Lewis' wife. Brocade, velvet, candy cane striped shoes, red bows, and jewels down the front. Enough said. This year's Worst dressed goes to Tilda Swanson. Again, I ask myself why would such a beautiful woman with an amazing body do this to herself? I looks like she went to the sale table at Jo Anne's fabric, picked out an icky polyester stretch velvet, and proceeded to just wrap it around her body. Seriously, it's like she's wearing a sack, and she forgot to sew on one arm of the dress. I can only assume there was no stylist at fault here...so the lesson is hire a stylist before you present at next year's awards Tilda.

-Melissa